Funny:Petty property border disputes between two gay men.

Funnier:One of the parties involved(the next door neighbor, actually)--while holding a Bichon under each arm-- being chased down the driveway as the other squeals "Get your fat ass off my property!"

Funnierest:My roommate, Colin, devising a plan to prank call next door neighbor, but then chickening out using "What if they catch me?" as his excuse. Colin, it's a prank call, not a death threat. Also, they're gay, not Italian. What--do you think they're going to sick the Prada Mafia on you? Even if they did, they wouldn't kill you, they'd just make you look pretty and teach you how to accessorize.

Speaking of gay men--why do so many of them own Bichon Frises? My landlord has at least two of the little ankle-biters, and the next door neighbor has at least as many, if not more. When a man comes out of the closet, is there someone there ready to bestow a congratulatory Bichon on them?

"Here's your one allotted, non-shedding dog for admitting you're gay. The rest you have to buy on your own. Happy Homo-ing!"

Holy shit, I just had an epiphany. It all makes sense.

It's like "Book It" for gay men. Instead of receiving a personal pan pizza for every 5 books read, the gay receive a Bichon for every straight man they convert.

They don't want me, they just want the doggy!