Irritable Male Syndrome

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

On scene...

A few years before I moved to Minneapolis, I lived in a farm house way out in the middle of nowhere. It had running water and we didn't have to crap outside, and for $150/month, it really wasn't that bad. Apparently there was a grass fire awfully close to the house yesterday.


Story here


If you get a chance, please, oh god please, watch the video. Pay special attention, specifically to when the Tricia Takinawa of the KSTP news team starts in with her on scene report of the fire, and this wildfire season.


Did she really just say what I think she said?


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Monday, March 26, 2007

I've lived in my apartment all of 6 months, and I feel it's time to move.

I'm movin' on up, to the East Side--in this case, it's technically the south side of the building, but whatever--to a deluxe apartment on the 4th floor. Even though it has a terrible ring to it, I'm happy to be moving into a 1 bedroom, big boy apartment.

My apartment right now is fine, but there comes a time in every young man's life that he has to have seperate sexin' and entertainin areas, and that time is now for me, I guess. It's only $100 extra a month for much more room, and I can afford it without having to sell plasma for beer money, so why not? It's not like I'm going regret the decision when the end result is that I can have sex in both the bedroom and living room and gloat, for once, that they're not the same room.

As it stands right now, though, I don't own any furniture outside of my bed and desk, so if any of you people can hook me up with something to sit on, I'll repay you by letting you help me do the cleaning required to move out of my current apartment. No, no, thank you is not necessary. Really.

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Monday, March 05, 2007

Wait, I do have a quick story.

For the past few days, my car has been acting up. It's an old car and I can't explain why it hasn't given up the will to live, but it hasn't. It's reliable transportation that's paid for, I suppose, but it comes at the price of my dignity, mostly because it's hideous. There's been a constant problem with the power steering when I first start it up on cold days, but it hasn't caused me that many problems; just a slight squeal that quickly goes away after a few blocks.

But the other day, my oil light came on for a few seconds, and that's something that's never happened before. And then, on my way out to parent's place--where I was subsequently ignored by my niece for the duration of my stay--my temperature gauge fluctuated wildly during the first few miles of the trip. That can't be good.

So, I figure it might be the thermostat. Or the serpentine belt. Or the blinker fluid needed to be sieved and replaced. I don't know that much about cars, ok? I made an appointement to get my oil changed for later today, and when I checked it earlier this morning (the first time I'd checked it since it had been replaced some 7,000 miles ago), the dipstick came up dry as a menopausal woman. That's pretty dry.

Not wanting to incur the ridicule, not to mention dirty looks, from someone unable to ever get their hands completely clean, I headed to the closest gas station to buy a few quarts of oil. Or was it pints? That's how I usually measure liquids. Whatever.

The first gas station I stopped at was selling oil for the unbelievably low, low price of $4.63 a quart. I didn't read the fine print, but it must've been flecked with gold from King Tutankhamun's asshole, or blessed by car repair deities, Click & Clack. Nothing else could possibly justify the outrageous price.

The 2nd gas station was a little more reasonable, so I purchased me some oil. After emptying two quarts into an engine that should've siezed some 10,00 miles ago, and checking the dipstick, I noticed something that, as far as I know, didn't belong in my engine compartment.

There, wedged between the windshield wiper fluid reservoir and something else that was too rusty to identify, was a fist sized chunk of fossilized banana bread.

So that's where it went!

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Sorry for the lack of content, but I just haven't been getting drunk enough for any good stories to come about. For now, be content with this post that I'm only posting to try out the new Bleezer. Thanks.

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