Well, well, well. Fancy meeting you here. I'm glad that you're here, just a little surprised. Since I've got you around, allow me to detail some things I cannot, for the life of me, understand. Perhaps you can offer your insight, oh Wise Ones.

Club VIP Rooms...in Minneapolis--Is there any need for these in Minneapolis? Do we have that many real VIPs that require a seperate area for popular people to drink so as not to be mobbed by us common folk? Of course not. The thing is that I've never seen Prince, Kirby Puckett, or...shit, name another celebrity from Minnesota. That's right, there aren't any. And that means our VIP rooms are populated by retarded assbags from the suburbs--hopped up on Redbull and a false sense of entitlement--ogling droopy-assed girls sporting embellished tanks, or those equally hideous extra long shirts that seem to be all the rage nowadays. Oh hell, while I'm at it, there might as well be a Flirtini or two in the scene, too.

I could write a whole rant, but why are those shirts popular? I thought the whole idea of women's fashion was to accentuate the best features while hiding the worst. These shirts do neither; they only make a bulbous, out-of-control, Twinkie fueled ass look even more titanic. Don't even get me started on blue jeans sans ass-pockets. Or tight jeans tucked into tall, black boots.

I digress. VIP rooms. Right.

It means the VIP rooms are full of people desperately seeking validation from others just as desperate to be validated. Pathetic.

It's almost as bad as keeping a blog. Almost.

The Internet-- That probably makes me sound like a crotchety old fucker who misplaced his prunes, but I don't care. Why is everything becoming so goddamn difficult? Just by my estimation, I am a member of close to 4,337.5 sites that require me to log-in. Blogging sites, banking sites, at least 400 internet porn sites; where does it end?

That would be nice and all, that is if I were dumb enough to keep the same username and password on every single one. But, I'm not. But I'm also not the kind of person that writes any of that shit down. I guess that means even though I care about security, I'm too lazy to do anything about it. I've been told on more than one occasion that apathy is cute.

The other day I bought an Xbox 360 and after I got it home, proceeded to sign up for Xbox Live, their online gaming service. Sounds easy enough, right? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

I signed up just fine, but the process required me to have a Windows Live ID account, formerly MSN Passport.net, to link to my Xbox live account. In a perfect world it's supposed to be one account you can use for a number of Microsoft services, like Hotmail and whatever the hell else that Microsoft sells. If Satan were alive today, he'd applaud Microsoft's effort.

I thought that I had a passport.net account in the past, but couldn't remember which email address I used when signing up, so this time 'round, I used my Gmail account. Safe enough, I thought, considering that I've had my Gmail less than a year and just recently started using it for signing up for various online accounts.

[removed for overeager nerdery that nobody cares about]

To make a retarded story short, I somehow fucked up in my Xbox sign up, and instead of just being able to go into the system and correct my mistake, Microsoft requires to me pay $10 for a new Xbox Live identity(gamertag) and also sign up for a brand fucking new Windows Live ID to link to the new gamertag. Apparently it's impossible to un-link my Gmail with my old account, and link it to the new one? Doesn't make much sense to me.

The only thing that pisses me off more than a superfluous online account is an online news article that has multiple page jumps. Well, that and Splash Pages. I hate splash pages.